Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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