I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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