Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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