Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
