That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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