Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
