You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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