forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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