your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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