How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
