Girls should come with a carfax report
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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