I think I just saw someone hide a body.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
