Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
