Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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