Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
