Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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