There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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