I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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