my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
