i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
