If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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