I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
operation have a gay friend backfired
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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