So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
