God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i came on her dog
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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