VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
