Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
