I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
