question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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