Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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