He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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