I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
