Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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