Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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