Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
