how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
