I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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