Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
