is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Couch. On fire.
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