we're chasing vodka with high fives
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
you had me at cake vodka
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
