this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
