Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
