and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
