Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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