ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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