i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
