if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I have aggressive nipples.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You are a genius and a whore.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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