i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize