Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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