Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
