AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
