Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
