They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
