I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We're too hungover to prance.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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