Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
