Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
