That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
